Friday, December 30, 2005

Leaving Numbtown - Minus 7

Next Friday I´ll be leaving Numbtown for good. I´ll leave my home, my friends, my family and everything I´ve known so far. Some of you may already have experience moving to other city or even country, changing your life completely. This will be my first time. I have no idea what I should be feeling right now. My mind is in blank, my heart feels as if it had stopped. I even might say I feel numb. I guess is the self defense mechanism kicking in. I´m excited, that´s for sure, for this is an adventure, a chance of growth in a new world. I will discover of what I´m made off, and hopefully I´ll be a better person after this.
It´s hard to leave what you feel is a good life. What you´ve created and nurture for years. It´s hard to leave behind the people that you love, that have been there in both good and bad times. It´s hard knowing that nothing´s going to be the same again, and that you are conciously making the choice of ending a life that you have loved. It´s hard not to wonder if your new life will be as good as the last one, if you´ll ever feel as complete and as loved. But the true thing is that CHANGE is part of life. But damn, why does it have to be so painful? As I tell you, right now I feel pretty good. I don´t know when is the melancholy going to kick in, or if I´m going to feel it at all, but one thing´s sure: I´ve loved this life.
I apologize and I warn you: I guess this new year will bring a lot of pseudoprofoud ranting. You´re more than welcome to avoid it, or you can join me in my trip.
See ya all around. Time to go and eat some Mexican food.